Introduction to dealing with heartbreak
Ending a relationship can be very hard and can affect how you feel both inside and out. Dealing with heartbreak can be difficult and that’s why we have psychologically developed this guide on ways to heal from a breakup.
When you get close to someone, it feels like they are a part of you. You feel safe and happy when you’re with them. You put effort into the relationship, changing your plans and finding time for them. When the relationship ends, it can feel like a piece of you is missing because you’ve cared about that person for so long.
You might feel like all of these emotions are too much to handle. The emptiness makes you want to find comfort again. What helps you deal with them is to recognise that your feelings are real and need to be expressed. When you accept and allow yourself to feel these emotions, it makes it easier to cope.
Trying to push them away will only make the sadness last longer and feel worse. It’s important to know that feeling this way is completely normal. Remind yourself that these feelings are temporary and will go away, even if it takes more time than you think. The way to get over the pain is to go through the pain. This means you have to be willing to feel the difficult emotions, understand them, and then let them go. You can’t skip over it or avoid it.
The pain you feel is temporary and there are ways to ease it. Here are some strategies to help you cope and get through. We are here to help you in your dealing with breakup. These ways to heal from a breakup are very effective.
Ways To Heal From a Breakup
1) Reconnect with yourself
Breakups can make you feel lost. The absence of your partner creates a void emotionally, physically, and mentally. This triggers pain, stress, and anxious thoughts.
During moments when you feel alone and hurt, being alone by yourself is the last thing you want to do. You desire the comfort a partner can give and you want to turn to the next available person; a friend, family, or a rebound.
While seeking comfort from others is not a bad idea, you need to first reconnect with yourself. Reconnecting with you reduces the anxious feelings and fastens your healing process. To reconnect with yourself, you need to;
- Reflect: Ponder over what the relationship and the breakup experience taught you about yourself and your needs. Look out for possible learnings and insights you can get from it. How best can they shape you and your next relationship?
- Wait: While rushing into another relationship might appear as the best way to get over your partner, it will come in the way of your healing. You need to spend some time learning yourself afresh. Looking for a new connection while you are still healing will lead to further problems. Pains and hurts you did not completely address from your previous relationship will resurface with your new partner.
- Evaluate: Examine your beliefs and new habits you took on during the last relationship. Do they really define you and what you stand for? Did you adopt the traits just to build a stronger relationship? Take inventory of the habits and interests you took on or dropped during the relationship.
2) Mindfulness
One of the ways to heal from a breakup is mindfulness. Taking into account the thoughts that go through your mind daily is important. It helps you to cope with the day-to-day stress and also helps you heal faster.
Your instinct can be to turn away from emotional turmoil like anxiety or pain that you feel. You might feel ignoring it might help you overcome such feelings. The truth here is it won’t help. Dealing with breakup isn’t easy.
Avoiding how you feel won’t make you heal faster. Avoidance is not a coping strategy. Emotions you avoid and block out will come back to you stronger and overwhelming. When this happens, you will end up more broken and damaged.
Take your time to analyse your emotions rather than just push them away. It can be difficult when you start this but will get a hang of it with time. Doing this will help control your emotions and let them go before they affect you.
Mindfulness increases awareness of your emotions and thoughts, which helps you stay in the present. It prevents you from letting anxiety and grief overwhelm your consciousness. You understand how you feel, and you ensure it doesn’t affect you.
A common practice for achieving mindfulness is to appreciate the presence of loved ones, enjoy the little pleasures of life, and account for the benefits of the ended relationship
3) Maintain a balanced outlook
Don’t allocate blame to yourself or your ex. Another of many ways to heal from a breakup is a balanced outlook.
Breakups can be hurtful and you sometimes start to look at ways in which you contributed to it. Thoughts like this can disrupt your daily life. Taking all the blame and accepting flaws your ex-partner pointed out can damage your self-esteem and self-confidence.
While it is important to examine how things went wrong in your last relationship, ensure you maintain a balanced outlook. Blaming your ex and pushing all the blame on them might make you feel better, but it makes you hold on to negative emotions.
Adopt a more balanced frame of mind. Breakups are always due to different factors. And a fact about a breakup is that both partners contribute to its happening.
Having a more balanced perspective frame of mind helps you cope and offer a smooth path towards relief and healing. Recognizing your role, that of your ex-partner, and possibly external factors can help you examine the breakup more objectively.
4) Engage in your favorite activities
During a relationship, you tend to spend time with your partner often, discussing, playing games, or doing anything you both enjoy. After a breakup, you might have some extra time on your hands.
One of the best ways to heal from a breakup is to engage in your favorite activities.
While free time can be a great time when you are good and well, it can be detrimental when you are dealing with a breakup. You often grieve or get depressed during these extra times.
During periods like this, you need to get involved in rewarding activities or activities that interest you. This will help fill your time with positive distractions. Activities that help you relax and interest you will help you cope during this period.
While you are not to deny the emotions, getting involved in activities that interest you will hasten your healing process.
5) Connect with loved ones
Isolation always appears as the best option after a breakup, but it is detrimental to your healing.
While you might feel the need to be all by yourself and go through the phase alone, you need to connect with loved ones. Connecting with loved ones serves as great emotional support and can help improve your well-being.
Talking to loved ones when you feel down can also help improve your mood. And while you don’t need to talk to them about the breakup or things you consider personal, knowing you have people you can talk to makes a difference.
Family and friends care so much about you and you should connect with them during a time like this.
6) Take care of yourself
Your physical, mental, and emotional health is paramount during this phase. You should prioritise self-care for your optimal health and well-being.
Taking care of yourself is more important than coping with the stress, grief, and anxiety that comes with a breakup.
Give importance to your physical, emotional, and mental health. Some of the activities you can engage in include;
- Get at least 15 to 30 minutes of physical activity each day.
- Drink enough water
- Avoid excessive consumption of alcohol
- Eat nourishing meals
- Go to bed early and get about 7 hours of sleep daily
- Try meditation
- Listen to music
- Set time to relax
- Do things that interest you
7) Talk to a therapist
While speaking to a therapist is often avoided by many, it helps you improve your quality of life.
You might experience anxiety during a breakup which can affect your performance at work or school, your relationship with other people, and your day-to-day life in general. While you might be able to get over it in a short while, if it does not improve after a few weeks, you need to speak with a therapist.
Changes in your physical health might also be noticed such as changes in appetite, disrupted sleep, head pain, and more. Speaking with a therapist will help you uncover the cause of the physical changes and also provide helpful strategies to cope with them.
Read these 7 tips to overcome breakup.
Conclusion
Breakups can leave you damaged beyond the ways you can think of. It comes with a lot of feelings like rejection, sadness, pain, grief, regret, resentment, and disappointment. If these feelings are not attended to and worked on, it can negatively impact your next relationship.
Time helps you to heal and overcome these feelings. And while going through this phase, you should prioritise self-care. It is important to put self-care first during this phase. You need to build back your self-esteem and self-confidence. Remember to connect with family and friends. Also, talk to a therapist if you need to.
You can move past this phase as you are aware of many ways to heal from a breakup, if can’t then we are here in your dealing with heartbreak. We recommend going through this amazing research paper.