How to control your anger
It’s not your fault that nearly everything around you irritates you.You yell at the slightest provocation. And when you calm your nerves, you throw blame at yourself and regret your actions and unguided comments.
How long will you let anger take the most of you?
Isabella is a single mom who thrives to raise her only 4-year old child. As a business woman, it’s never been easy to shuffle baby’s school runs with domestic chores.
Now, her baby is in the hospital because she yells and hits him hard simply because little Dave does not recite the Arithmetic assignment she tries to assist him with.
Join us to unravel the anger management techniques she plans to use to control her anger.
What is Anger ?
Anger is an emotion that comes from negative feelings. Negative feeling is the expression you exhibit when someone does something wrong, or the feelings you get at something that treats you wrongly.
Reactions that usually follow anger are sadness, frowning, yelling, beating, and sometimes, fighting. If you do not intentionally work on taming your anger, it could destroy a lot. It might be too late before you realize you have been under an influence.
Although anger is a bad experience, it can sometimes be considered positive. In which case, it can urge you to find a solution to a problem. It can allow you to express your bad feelings and feel good afterwards.
Whichever the case, it is wise to put your anger in check because anger does more harm than good.
Causes of Anger
We get angry for various reasons. Past experiences, frustrations, and hunger are some of the many causes of anger in the world today. One can get angry for lack of sleep. The causes of anger vary, depending on the individual’s personality.
Here are some of the factors causing anger:
- Past Experiences
- Hunger
- Upbringing
- Ill Health
Past Experiences
The anger you feel right now might be the after effect of an unpleasant experience of ten years ago. Sometimes, children get bullied at school. And because they didn’t get justice at the time, the experience lives with them.
The repressed experience can lead to bouts of anger. If you have experienced situations in the past that made you angry, and are still capable of making you feel bad, what you need is anger management.
The effect of anger could be destructive if you don’t give it proper attention. Some causes of anger based on past experiences are:
- Rape
- Trauma
- Discrimination
- Bullies from Peer pressure
Hunger
Hunger is practically a major cause of anger. “A hungry man is an angry man.” Your stomach secretes ghrelin during fasting and starvation. And because you are restless and in pain, the adrenal gland secretes adrenaline, the emergency hormone.
In an attempt to combat the ghrelin inducing hunger, anger emotions are released. Adrenaline is the anger causing hormone. This is why you get angry when you are hungry. However, this challenge has a solution with anger management.
Upbringing
Our upbringing is a huge factor in anger management.
The family is the first education the child receives. Where the parents fail to teach the child the easiest techniques to manage anger, such as:
- peaceful communication
- respect for one another
- love among siblings
- Others
Things could go wrong. The child could grow up finding it difficult to control anger. And could even pass this family defect to her own children.
Ill Health
It’s detrimental to have frequent outbursts of anger. Medical conditions are one of the reasons why people get angry. A lingering health issue could cause frustration and ultimately anger. Some of the illnesses connected to frustration and anger are:
Stroke
Dementia
- Sleeping pills disorder
- Autism
- Cholesterol drugs
- Menopause
- Wilson’s Disease
- Overactive Thyroid
- Diabetes
- Epilepsy
What is Anger Management?
Anger management is the ability to prevent triggers and responses of anger. You can manage your anger through a series of intentional techniques designed just for you until you are capable of resisting anger.
To manage anger is to be mature enough to keep your emotions in check. As you keep practicing and shunning the anger, you get used to it. Managing anger is saving yourself from disaster and improving your relationship with others.
The 12 Anger Management Techniques
There are some personality traits people display in life that make them feel angry. Traits that they get from birth, or through habit. Some people are just harsh and react by impulse.
It doesn’t matter if your anger is from birth, you can change it. If you start adopting these anger management techniques from today, you will become calmer and manage anger appropriately.
Ready to have your anger curbed? Start by adopting these 12 anger management tips.
1. Think and Speak Sense
The words you speak from inside-out make more sense than the ones you say abruptly. So many of the words you say in anger are offensive. And, if care is not taken could cause a future problem.
So, say only what concerns you directly and clearly, without hurting anyone. When next you get angry, remember to think first before you talk.
2. Talk When Calm
It’s unwise to blab while you are angry. This is because anger can make you speak and talk off point. You say things you would not ordinarily. The words you speak in anger are rather destructive than constructive.
3. Exercise Your Body
Get some exercise when you feel angry. Exercise is a physical therapy that aids in reducing stress and makes you feel better. You can go for a brisk walk if you think your anger could be stemming from accumulated stress.
4. Take a Break
Whenever you feel stressed out, go for a break. Stress is one of the causes of anger. Whether it is stress from accumulated work load, or mental stress, you need breaks to reinvigorate.
5. Recognize Anger Triggers
Focusing on the cause of your anger will make you get more angry. What you should do instead is to counter the anger with subtle but positive words. You can practice in front of a mirror.
Telling yourself the good side of life, reminding yourself that you are not a subject of anger could help keep you away from anger. Love yourself. Because sometimes, lack of confidence and low self esteem can make people react awkwardly.
6. Use ‘I’ statements
Claiming right during anger will only escalate the anger. Love and respect everyone, so that you can be happy with yourself. Use “I” comments to shift blame to yourself. And avoid future anger occurrences.
7. Never Keep a Grudge
People who make others laugh actually love more than those who can’t. “Holding a grudge is like storing other people’s problems with you. They may not even remember they have it.”_ Anonymous
You will live healthier the moment you learn to let go of anger. Happiness is key. Holding grudges will make you bitter and age too quickly.
8. Use humor instead
People who can make others laugh are perceived to be friendly compared to the ones who don’t. Don’t accommodate sarcasm. It makes things worse. Spread happiness about. When anyone offends you, forgive and ignore. Life isn’t that long for anger.
9. Practice Meditation
Meditation calms the mind. When you feel angry, meditate on something meaningful to recover yourself. Look up some yoga exercises online to keep your soul and body alive. Anger is an emotion. Do not let it take a hold of your peace.
10. Seek Help
Learning to control anger can be challenging. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
You will feel better. And have the tendency to ignore whatever it is that’s the cause of your anger.
11. Change Your Attitude
Work on your attitude. Some people are naturally ill-mannered. They feel unprotected without anger. For such, avoid. Learn to forgive and show compassion. Letting go of hurt and disappointment, will help you amend and condone damaged relationships.
12. Diffuse Your Anger
This is a very effective technique in anger management. Flee anything that looks like anger. You do not have the time to waste on irrelevance. Anger is irrelevant to your progress.
Speak less and think more. Processing your thoughts enables you to come up with the best decision to manage anger management.
Final Thoughts
Finally, anger is the emotional feeling that makes one react to negative thoughts and actions. Trying to push away anger or act as if it never exists is self deception. Work on yourself. Admit that you have anger issues.
That’s the only way you can manage your anger successfully. What you should do better is to look again at the techniques that we’ve provided in this article.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How can I avoid anger at home ?
To avoid anger at home, simply practice relaxation.
- How do I know my anger is bad?
Your anger is bad when it’s beyond your control
You get angry at everyone irrespective of their positions.
- Will anger make me die young ?
Anger increases the blood pressure. High blood pressure can lead to a stroke or other complications causing death.
- Is it possible to live with anger?
You can live with anger if you don’t take the techniques we provided seriously.
- Is there anything like good anger?
There is no such thing as good anger. However, one can consider anger to be positive if it makes you feel good, clearing your doubts.